


I’m sorry

by Spicy_milk_404



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Comfort, Depressing, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healthy Relationships, Help, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Relapsing, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Social Anxiety, Steven Needs Help, Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Steven needs love, Steven needs support, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Support, Supportive Relationships, steven deserves love, working together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:08:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29381832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicy_milk_404/pseuds/Spicy_milk_404
Summary: Steven - “I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore”
Relationships: Garnet & Steven Universe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	I’m sorry

**Author's Note:**

> TW : self harm, suicidal thoughts and suicidal actions

Steven locked the door and slid down the side of the bath tub he opened up the scissors and placed them on his wrist and started lightly gliding the blade

He then moved to his legs and just couldn’t stop 

Every cut getting deeper, the more distressing his thoughts became

His tears started to make his eyes progressively more blurry as they ran down his face

his voice becoming croaky 

And his thoughts started spiralling 

“I really do deserve this”

“I don’t deserve them”

“They would be much better off without me, the only thing I ever cause is pain to those around me”

“I really don’t deserve to be alive”

He griped his hair really hard with one of his hands until he started shaking 

when he realised he was shaking he threw his arm down and cut into it with the scissors as hard as he could

And then moved to his legs

Marking it all the way down to his ankles one deep cut at a time 

The cuts got jagged and the blood started to drip onto the floor and all the way down his leg

This was the first time he turned pink since the day when he turned into a monster 

The blood started to drip down his arm and onto the floor 

His glow dimmed and left him feeling heavily faint 

Now when his pink dies down it’s like survival mode being switched off he losses all the adrenaline he has

His eyes where blurred from all his tears 

“I’m so sorry”

“What an idiot”

He tired to stand up but his body weight was to much and he fell on his knee caps

“Ahaa” - and a crocky cry followed 

he threw his non boldly arm to cover his mouth 

And his bloody one clutched to his stomach 

He had completely covered his face in his tears and started to form a puddle on the floor beneath him

He pushed him self up to sitting, his back to the wall and pulled his phone out , clicked on text messages and started scrolling through all of his contacts 

“I don’t deserve them”

“Why are they all so nice to me the only thing I ever do is hurt the ones I love”

He just waited, staring at his screencontemplating wether or not he should and did deserved help 

His body progressively got heavily and his eye lids began to fall 

The scissors fell out of his had and made a clinking sound against the cold floor beneath him

——-

He woke up in a bed and tried to move but couldn’t 

The air was warm and welcoming 

And the light was dimmed 

His clothes where soft and gentle on his skin

And his head and neck was lightly supported with cool pillows 

The duvet was warm, silky and soft, the duvet also had an extremely soft blanket on top where his arm was resting on 

  
His other arm was underneath the warm duvet

His arm wich was on top of the duvet was covered in bandages 

His eye lids where becoming less heavy And he was becoming more aware of his surrounding 

He tried to sit up but as soon as he did he started to feel incredibly Nauseous

He started to gag and someone ran over to him and helped him sit up and put a bowl that was previously placed beside his bed onto his lap 

  
they where still holding onto the bowl

  
And a palm was gently placed of his back so he could keep balance 

He didn’t recognise them at first but shortly realised it was Garnet 

She laid him down for a second wile quickly grabbing a tissue and putting the bowl back on the floor 

She helped him back up to the sitting position 

  
After wiping his mouth gently 

He was arched over staring towards the duvet   
  


he started to silently cry, pain filled his eyes

his arms where lying motionless on the duvet 

Wile another pair of warm arms gently rapped around is frail body 

She started to gently rub his back and kiss his forehead 

She took one of her hands and placed it soothingly on his cheek 

She brought him close to her chest as he started to cry more aggressively and continued to rub his back 

Garnet - “How long have you been hurting yourself” 

Steven - “Like this ....”

He looked at his arm 

Steven - “not that long”

Garnet could tell he was lying 

She moved him gently away from her chest and lightly placed one of her hands on his cheek again and looked directly into his eyes with a soft gaze 

Steven looked down slightly 

But garnet lightly tilted his head back up 

Steven - “a ...a ...bit over a... year...”

He look so ashamed and guilty 

He burst into tears, in her arms

He had been keeping everything in for so long 

  
but he was just to tired now he felt like he had nothing to lose he just felt like not trying anymore and all he wanted to do was just give up 

His body became heavy against hers

She held him closer 

Garnet - “Pearl said she was going to let you tell me what happed a couple of years ago”

Garnet - “she said it was really important”

Steven - “it’s not that big of a deal I can’t do anything about it now” 

He said all chopped up between his crocky and inconsistent breaths 

Garnet - “Steven please tell me what happened”

She said while bringing him into an extremely loving hug and rubbing his back slowly 

Steven - “White ripped my gem out of me..........”

Steven - “It was..... so painful”

He said extremely desperately and restlessly while trying his hardest not to drown in his own tears 

Garnets body bucked she could feel the agonising pain in his voice

Out of all the people that would sympathise for him it would be garnet 

She took her glasses of and Steven could feel the pain in her eyes as well

At that moment Steven realised if anyone was going to understand what he was going through it would be her

Garnet - “Steven.. That’s...horrible”

She brought him closer, wile still being cautious of his arm

She started to cry slightly and hugged him tighter 

Garnet - “you didn’t deserve to go through that”

She said extremely empathetically

garnet - “I am so sorry”

Garnet - “Steven is that why you’ve been hurting your self”

She said while keeping him close and rubbing his back gently 

Steven - “it’s ...part of the reason”

He struggled to say 

She rapped her arms around him like she would never let go and he did the same 

She smiled lightly 

——-

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you like it 🌱✨🌸 
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment 
> 
> This one took a lot longer  
> But let me let me know if I put the wrong tags or spelt something wrong (and stuff like that)


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